I've had several opportunities over the past couple of months to share my story. One of those opportunities was when I spoke to professionals about the events that happened to me how these same experiences cause pain for many young people today. Of course, most of these professionals were aware of what abuse can do to the children - becoming withdrawn or becoming angry, acting out sexually, not trusting anyone, etc.
Then I spoke about the importance of the security factor for these children. Most children find their security in their parents; however, children who have been hurt by their parents find their security in each other. My brothers and sisters were separated from me when we went into the foster care system; I was 10 years old. They were my babies and I was their mother figure. That single event has been one of the most difficult events for me to overcome.
When I spoke of this event, a social worker asked me what options I could give them because there are very few homes where families are willing to take large groups of children. According to this individual, most foster parents do not seem to mind taking 2 or possibly 3, but keeping siblings together is almost impossible. I couldn't speak strongly enough of the importance of keeping these children in a family unit. If it means finding homes where parents are willing to take large families, and use them for that purpose, that is what must be done. Alternatives, not as good as keeping them together, would be to place them in nearby homes, so the children can walk to each others' homes and see each other in school. If that does not work, then they need to make it the responsibility of the parents in the foster homes to provide opportunities for the children to spend time together at least a couple times a week. She was surprised to realize that there were some things they could do.
The sooner these children are reached and given security with each other, the earlier these children will find healing for their hurts. It's not enough to take them out of the abusive home; these children need help - psychologically and spiritually.
